The first time I got up on stage and made an audience laugh, I experienced an enormous rush like no other.
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I wanted to keep coming back every single night. I was single and doing a lot of online dating website jokes men. I was worried I wouldn't have time to devote to both my love life and my career. After all, stand-up can take up hours of every night. I didn't want to give up either, so the only option seemed to be combining them and experimenting with dating as a stand-up comedian.
This meant dating people I met at stand-up shows, mostly other comics or audience members. My stand-up routine is pretty raunchy, particularly because I make a lot of jokes about sex and what it's like to have sex with me. I was described many times as a "sex comic" in my first year, which I felt was dismissive, since I also had a very long joke about menstruation.
Still, there was no denying that someone who watched my stand-up routine probably assumed I was having a lot of sex I was! However, I was open to the idea of meeting someone at a show even though in practice, I often avoided itbecause I wasn't meeting a ton of people elsewhere.
One time, two months after doing a show, I got a Facebook message from a guy in the audience asking if he could come see me again. His message wasn't particularly flirty, so I assumed he genuinely wanted to watch more of my stand-up.
As it turns out, he was hitting on me although I still maintain that he also liked my stand-up comedy. I invited him to my next show. After my set, we slept together, and then continued to do so a few times a week for the next few months.
He had developed a strong impression of me from my set, and the whole time, I felt like my IRL personality was a let-down.
He seemed to want the banter to move faster than it did, and I never felt like I had a high enough energy for him. I developed a fear that I wasn't as interesting in person as I was on stage, almost to the point where I wanted to date someone who assumed I was going to be on the quiet side.
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I became weary of going out with guys who only know me from my stand-up. I don't think there's anything wrong with wanting to date someone funny, and I myself look for it in a partner, but most of the men I was meeting wanted me to entertain them and make them feel funny.
I would prefer people restrict themselves to funny jokes onlywhich a lot of the guys I've met seem disinterested in doing. Even though I was spending every night performing stand-up comedy, I still felt like it wasn't a good way to meet a potential partner. So, I returned to an old lover: dating apps.
I had used dating apps many times in the past, and I've almost always found them to be a really great way to meet people I might not get to know IRL. I wrote in my bio that I was a comedian, which was probably my first mistake.
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Much like meeting people after shows, I was immediately inundated with messages that started either with, "Tell me a joke," or, "Do you want to hear a joke? On first dates especially, I like to ask a lot of questions and really get to know someone before jumping right into the banter.
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Furthermore, I don't think of myself as someone who makes a ton of jokes in conversation and I certainly don't make jokes on demandso I didn't feel like I was what they expected.
Still, I did go on a few dates with men I met on dating apps.
It took me a while to realize what types of people to avoid. Specifically, if someone didn't ask any questions about anything other than comedythey usually weren't a match.
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If someone seemed to want to explain how funny they were or, worst of.